"Mom, watch me!"

I know I keep saying that I must enter her world to have true understanding and compassion. Well, I threw that theory out the window and today I took her into mine.  When I went to Sunrise today she was still asleep.  She didn't want to get up.  I hung around the room, put things away...kept talking to her and she started to smile.  I had brought fresh orange juice and slowly she started to get up, then sit up, and then we drank it.  I remembered how when she lived in Florida we used to go to the best Orange juice stand in the world, you could drink cold free orange juice out of these paper cone cups. mmmmm.....I told her about that.  Then everyone helped get her ready....

And there she was all ready to go, somewhere?  Okay!  I had to go get Gidgey from school, so I took her with me, I had enough time and a wheelchair.  It's no easy feat getting her in and out of that thing, or the car for that matter, but I was up for the challenge.  It was a beautiful day here, the Jacaranda trees are incredible.  So...I took her into my world.  I wheeled her to Sunnyside!  Where I have painted murals, and have made a place for myself in "California".  She's always, always asking me where I live.
So today I showed her.

I showed her what I've done, who I am, my girls, my friends, my world, what I've grown up to be, and where I live.

Holding My Mother

What she sees.

This is her view.  The girls, the dog, the bed, which we moved onto the floor because it was too high.  Every time she sees it, it's new.  Can you imagine?  Anyway, so much for the headboard I searched all over for... that doesn't matter, now she can get into bed a little easier.  The girls and Bee and me all went over for a "movie night in Pajamas with popcorn."

Alzheimer's Reading Room: Keeping The Love Alive: The Color of Love

Alzheimer's Reading Room: Keeping The Love Alive: The Color of Love

Old VCR tapes?

I picked up some videos at the Studio City Library Sale.  It's the last Saturday of the month and helps support the library, better yet...great finds for 50 cents!  I don't really want to share the link, but I will because I love whoever is reading this.

Anyway, they love old musicals and old tv shows up at Sunrise.  All in the Family makes them laugh.  So, if anyone is finally ditching all their VCR's stuff, they still have a video machine up there.  Here is a link to recycling those old ones.

I stopped there by myself really quickly on my way to Sunnyside where I am painting another mural.  I had on my overalls, and my mom kept saying how pretty I was.  She was sitting at her table where she always sits by herself...well not really.  She is always talking to someone that is not there.  I kissed her and left, and she went back to talking to whoever, and was looking at the movies.

"Everyone Seems To Be Going Somewhere But Me."

"Everyone seems to be going somewhere except me."  That's what one of the new residents said to me as I was leaving Sunrise today.  Usually I have something nice to say....but I was stumped on this one.  I was like "ummmmmmm, okay, Goodbye" and I blew my mom a kiss from across the room, and shut the door into the safety of the cooridor between the door and the elevator.

It's 5am now...this is my time.  When I can draw, and not go on the computer.   But, I've been wanting to post since my last post.  I felt guilty leaving that video up there, and my frustrations.  I went back to Peggy's the next day with the kids and Beverly.  It was a hubbub of activity up there.  New kitchen cabinets were being installed and everything was moved around, so if you can imagine....Anyway, it was easy, and she was there and happy to see us. And I was happy to see her too.  It really is so much better if I enter her world, instead of trying to make her be in mine.  I think that is really the most important lesson I've learned lately.

Peggy and Beverly.

She had a cough...so the next night I brought over some Buckwheat Honey and night time cold medicine.  Like she used to come in at night and give me when I was a little girl.  She had been in bed all day.  I tried to get her up a little, it's so hard to move her around?  She's like a giant weeble wobble, and I have to laugh, because she laughs too.  I'd sit her up to try and give her a spoon of honey, and she'd just roll back down again.  Oh my.  I had a little quiet time with her and I had a chance to cut her toenails....yikes.  But, she didn't mind, this time.  

I got a call, she fell again.  But she's okay...just the fact that she is starting to fall more now is telling.  She's losing her balance.  We went and saw her, and she was in her wheelchair in her spot at the table.  The girls played with the bird "Grady".  My mom used to be deathly afraid of birds, most of the women in my family are??  She's not anymore.  She sits close and watches the girls hold "Grady".  I always remind them before we get there, that we are visiting Nana too!  They are good, Gidgey told Nana she liked her pretty shoes.  They really do, they like her, they are good to her, they seem to understand her and accept her for who she is and not who she was, unlike me.

One last note, thank you to everyone who leaves messages, or tells me I'm doing a good job, or just even asks about my Mom.  It really does makes me feel good and okay to share all this, even the not so nice stuff.

Good days and bad days are the same

I've been able to spend a little more one on one time with Peggy because Allen's mom is here to help out with the girls.  It's been nice, and then not nice.  Happy and then sad.  What I mean is that I'm able to talk with her and not be distracted by the girlie Q's.  One evening I went over and we looked at every page of this beautiful gardening book.  I even went to an Alzhiemers Association lecture on communication. I was in the "caretaker zone". I took her to the dentist.  She kept telling me what a wonderful driver I was.  I kept saying "thank you" and "that she was a wonderful passenger". I took her to the mall in the wheelchair and strolled her around and she loved it, we bought new shoes and ate lunch and she thought we were at Marshall Fields.  I had time, I had patience.  I had time to think.  It's funny sometimes, she makes me smile, especially when she asks if I have a boyfriend.
Today she had an appointment with Dr. Stern at 4:30.  So I allowed us lots of time, we got the car washed and made our way there... and then all of sudden in the parking lot, she lost control of everything, and I mean everything, her walking, her bowels, her mind.  I should of brought her in the wheelchair.  I thought walking would be good for her and left the heavy wheelchair in the trunk.  She kept wanting to sit her 160 lb. body down where there was no chair.  Finally we made it to the bathroom and into the Dr.'s room and everything calmed down.  We talked seriously about decreasing even more meds, like anti-cholesterol and Fosamx.  "See ya in 3 months" and we were sent off into the abyss of Alzheimer's.
 I got her to wait in a blue chair while I got the wheelchair out of the car.  When I came in, everyone was all smiles.  They thought how great it was she was having such a great time talking to herself.  And how wonderful it is that she is happy.  Honestly, that's usually how I feel.  Really I do.  But not today...today I felt bad, I felt like she was really off her rocker and was so beyond herself and I didn't think it was funny.  So to distract myself, "Let's go to dinner!"  There's an italian restaurant right near here that is supposed to be wonderful.. for a treat."  She thinks that is great.  We valet, and we sit down by the door, and it's really nice.  It's really really nice.  We eat bread and tomatoes, I even had a campari and soda to relax.  I asked her questions and she would answer David and Paul, or Wheaton, Illinois and Faganel Builders.  I talked about her life and she listened.  We had dessert, blueberries and tiramisu....."live life until the end!" we toasted with sparkly water.  Moment to moment and then another moment in the car and she was back to hyper talking and laughing and nonsense, and I was back to feeling sad again. I wanted her to stop.  I wanted her to calm down, and not be so crazy lady, talking to herself.   I just, I don't know.   Today, I wanted her back to normal.
Here is a video from the end of the day... you'll see what I mean
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5bGO6rpUMw

Mother's Day at Peggy's

Today we spent time with Nana.  I'm always rushed, I've been "stopping by" for just short periods of time. Checking in on her.... Well, today we spent the whole day with her... and I really saw her engage, and get a little more comfortable as we relaxed with her.  It was lovely.  Sunrise had a nice brunch for us and we brought gifts and a couple of hours to just be with her.  The girls were fun too.  I look at pictures of my Mom now and before she had alzheimer's.   She is like two different people, and I love them both.

Here's a link to the girls making her smile.....
http://gallery.me.com/allenkeller#100495

Thanks Paul for the Candy Apples!!!!

Lilacs

We brought Peggy Lilacs today.  I remember her pulling over on the side of the road, keeping scissors in her glovebox to bring wild one's home at this time of year....

Gidgey wanted to have lunch with Nana

So, we packed it up and went over to Sunrise.

We also brought Lego's.

Mother/Daughter Camping Trip

I haven't posted in a while because Sunny and I went on our first mother daughter camping trip at camp hollywoodland!  It was so much fun. I loved camp when I was little, and Sunny loved it too.

Baking a Cake

Ellen sent me this great picture of Peggy baking a cake!!

Sunny's a Girl Scout

We stopped by Nana's to show her Sunny's new "DAISY" uniform.  Peggy applauded!  It was so wonderful to see her have the emotion of pride.  It really made Sunny happyand proud too.  Sunny hugged some people, and they all responded to her so nicely without the distraction of our little Gidget.....and I mean that all in a good way.

Happy Spring Day

Daffodowndilly

Daffodowndilly
She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,
She wore her greenest gown;
She turned to the south wind
And curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbour:
                                    "Winter is dead."




Sunny brought daffodils to Sunrise today.  She was wearing a yellow spring coat and bounced the yellow ball with Peggy.  Growing up I remember this was our favorite poem by A.A. Milne, I even recited it at the grade school talent show.... she didn't remember what the flowers were called when we gave them to her, 
but I did.

"Lois Loves Allen and Allen Loves Lois and I Love Allen"

We rolled Peggy to dinner tonight.  We like to go to Hugo's restaurant which is right by Sunrise, so Allen met us there and I thought it might be easier to walk with Nana in her chair.  I was pretty stressed, because the street is SO busy and we have to cross quite a few and go under a highway, the girls held hands as I held on to the wheelchair, Sunny bent down to pick up a dime crossing and I really yelled at her like a fearful mother lion protecting her cub.  I hate the cars in LA!  

 Peggy and I sat across the table from Allen, who sat between the girls.  All she could talk about was how much the girls loved him as they squirmed around in their chairs and acted like robots and dropped  things, and poked Daddy.  And I kept scolding them to sit down, and be polite and all that mother lion stuff.  Peggy doesn't always remember the details, but she does know emotions (and to take the butter knife away from the two year old) and she knew that we are a happy family, and instead of being stressed about the restaurant,  I saw my world through her eyes, and smiled when she said

 "Lois loves Allen and Allen loves Lois, and that's all there is to it."

Alzheimer's Reading Room: Five Foods That Might Help Prevent Dementia, Cancer and Heart Disease

Alzheimer's Reading Room: Five Foods That Might Help Prevent Dementia, Cancer and Heart Disease

Beets!

Sardines!

Curcumin?

Pumpkin!

Cinnamon!

A St. Patrick's Day to remember

Today was a really fun day! Here are the Peggy's dancing to Bing Crosby singing Peg O' My Heart.  

And Sunny jumped in with an Irish jig all her own.



And for even more green fun click here....
A St. Patrick's Day to remember

Peggy Lu is here!!

I am so happy, but my feet are even happier!!!  We stole away to Happy Feet, a foot massage place to get some  relaxation and stress release.  It was so fun, I felt like crying when we sat down.  I love Peggy Lu, she cares so much, and we feel the same way about Peggy and it is just such a relief to have her here, even for just a little while....

Alzheimer's Reading Room: Looking for Meaning Behind the Words

Alzheimer's Reading Room: Looking for Meaning Behind the Words

I really love this article on how to relate to dementia. Check it out.

Paul came to visit!

And he finally came for his clothes!  Thanks for visiting Paul, you made her day.  

and Gidgets!

Reading

Yesterday the girls and I went over to Peggy's after school.  My mom was in such a good mood.  She is feeling so much better, hasn't had vicadin for 4 days and didn't complain of any pain.  As a matter of fact, when we called David and he asked her about her fall, she insisted that she never fell and had NO idea what he was talking about.  The up side to alzheimer's.

Peggy really engaged with Gidget today reading books on the couch.  She looked at me and said,"Your so nice, and good to me"  I told her, it's because I had a good Mom.

And then I found this picture of Peggy reading to Sunny when she was one....6 years ago, and I think of her reading to me when I was little, and well...that's how it goes.  I have a good Mom.

Sunny and Gidget were here

Virtual candlelight rally

I lit a virtual candle for my mom today. Here is your chance to double your giving in the battle against alzheimer's.
I urge you to join me and visit the Alzheimer's Association today!