Christmas Music Memories

The power of music... for all of us.

  I can't hold a tune, I don't understand chords, hated the piano and don't know the right words to most songs. That doesn't matter, music has a way of reaching inside and touching all of us in different ways and we experienced that with great surprise and joy on Christmas Day.

 The whole family went over to Peggy's yesterday and we brought presents for her, and gifts for her care takers.  I expected the same sad, nothing response from Peggy that has been the norm lately.  Sunny had been practicing her ukulele at home and we were running late. I told her she didn't have to stop, she could just bring it along (secretly hoping, she might play for Nana and some of the other residents at the party.)  When we got there she wanted to leave it in the car. She didn't want me to FORCE her to play in front of everybody, which I NEVER do, I only beg.  I promised her I wouldn't and I didn't.  I actually thought it would distract her from the odd smells, the unpleasantness of the details, and the scariness of what Alzheimer's has done to her Nana that she is so keen to notice now that she is almost twelve.  Gidget who is seven bounds into the place. She jumps on the bed, touches everything, hugs Nana, dances around and enjoys visiting, even if it might  only be for the slight chance of sneaking a piece of candy.

 We tried to act normal as if Peggy could hear us, see us or even understand us.  Then a couple of notes started to fill the room.  Sunny tuned her strings with my iPhone and looked up classic Christmas songs... and then a Sing-a-Long magically appeared.  It lifted us out of the awkward and unfamiliar place that Alzheimer's has placed us.  Each song took out the details of that room and into another dimension of memory, feeling and love along with the details of my life that the music rendered.  Allen crooned Silent Night which made me cry, as I remembered snowy winters and luminaries lighting up the night as we caroled our way through my neighborhood growing up in Wheaton, IL and lucky I felt to share my life with his beautiful voice.  Gidget re-enacted her second grade Holiday Concert with flair and adorable hand motions, the memories she will have of her happy times at Carpenter Elementary School just forming.  And Peggy! She came to life, smiled and tried to sing to Santa Claus is Coming to Town.  Which we sang more than once and exaggerated every note with glee.  Before we left, Sunny sang her own sweet rendition of All I Want for Christmas is You and I swelled with love and hope that music will be her guide and friend that she can rely on to get her through all the details of this lovely, sad, and wonderful life.

Happy Holidays dear friends and family.  Keep singing, laughing, crying and being there for each other, because that's what memories are made of.

Love, Lois

Love Through Music

I know my daughter Sunny's music is special.  The girls and I were visiting Peggy, one of Sunny's songs she wrote came on the ipod.  When the song ended we saw this moving underneath the covers.  It was Peggy, she was clapping.  She was clapping!  I held my daughter and told her how special her music is, and that it can reach people, even her Nana.  The next day we found out her song she wrote for the Reflections program, "The Magic of the Moment" won the  state level and she will be representing California in the music composition category.  Her Nana knows, and even though she won't be able to be there at the special awards luncheon in San Jose, I know she will be clapping.  

Her Playlist

I knew music was good for Peggy.  We bought her an ipod a while ago and uploaded all kinds of music on it.  Piano, soothing, lively contemporary, Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, 50's, classical shufflling around for her when she was in her room.

Then I saw this wonderful video that I posted previously about music of this man's era. Check out this cool movie, Alive Inside.

I needed the music that was still in her, not what was on our playlist.   We didn't have a lot of music in my house growing up.  She has lived a long time. What is her genre? I asked myself as I scanned the itunes playlists.  She loves row row row your boat...what genre is that?  What label?  Who the heck sang it first?
It took me way too long to figure out how to get rid of all the apps, and old playlists and the confusing things, like clouds and share and twitter, to make her new playlist which made me come to the conclusion that this must be why we get Alzheimer's, our brains are all mucked up from the years of input until finally all the wires get overloaded and what's left are a few little notes...row row row your boat.  Just try and say that without singing it's tune, or this one, Twinkle twinkle little star...

So, along with a new playlist from the 40's Gidget and I recorded this, and she smiled and mouthed the words.

I'm busy, but she's not.

I am so busy these days, I just realized it's been a week since I visited Peggy.  Then I realized how much has happened over the past month or two.  For starters, it's now 2012.  It was Sunny's birthday, and Valentine's Day, and I started teaching pre-school art, and we got a homemake over for a reality tv show!  Soon it will be St. Patrick's Day, and Peggy's irish eyes will be in the same place.  In her room, waiting, and dreaming and sleeping and being bathed by someone else.  I can't think about it too much.  I cried the time before last when I visited.  She loves the Beatles. Allen made her a special soundtrack, and when I go over there, the music keeps me company and she seems to like it.  She's in between my life, and I love her the same, but now instead of always trying to include her in everything, she feels like a separate entity.  Again it's a new normal, and I'm adjusting.  I just can't look forward or back, so when I visit the music fills the space and when she gets a sad face when I leave, I have to look away, and just turn up the music a little so it can be there, when I'm not. 

Glen Campbell: Forget Me Not

Glen Campbell: Forget Me Not
Listen and read about Glen Campbell's Alzheimer's diagnosis.

Paul McCartney

I usually stop at Whole Foods before we visit Peggy.  Flowers, smoothies, healthy snacks and today I picked up this live album for the floor...for all of us.  The people that work there, the visitors, the residents, the air, the carpet, the mood.  Sandy said she felt like she was on rollerskates as she was wiping residents mouths and serving food and managing the two gals that really wanted to go "out" for lunch, and smiling.