Thursday, March 24, 2011

Sharing a Moment

One pretty amazing moment happened the night Peggy moved into her new home.  It was bed time, I came late so I could help get her changed and in bed and relaxed.  I wheeled her into her room.  Turned the lights on low, and we looked around her room.  I set it up exactly the same as her room at Sunrise.  Same framed pictures...I showed her this one.
She pointed at it, mumbled something,  and then said it makes me want to cry...and she cried.  I hugged her, a real hug. It wasn't a reassuring, or... it's going to be okay, or calm down hug it was a real heart felt reaction hug which made me cry, for us.

I felt like we were actually both there in that very moment, together instead of by myself.

So I stayed a little longer.   I didn't rush back.  I helped her get dressed with the new people, she didn't like it, although she was a little more calm.  I helped them get her into bed, and changed.  She hated that, she looked at me with fear, and the dementia was back, and she was scared and upset.  I held her hand. I turned the lights down low...and read to her A.A. Milne.  Every time I stopped and thought she was asleep she would say  "I like that one."

I know I can't take care of her.  I know I can't be there all the time to hold her hand.  I have to let the other's help.  I just...

The Doc reminded me today, there is no drug for alzhiemer's.  She's right, there isn't.