Yesterday was awful

She was agitated, fearful, infant like, and scared.    

Family Relief

Our whole family was together.  My brothers flew in, as well as my Dad.  It was a big relief for me.  It's heavy on my shoulders being the only person Peggy recognizes (in her own way.)  When they tell me at her home that she responds best to me, that doesn't make me feel better, or special.  It makes me feel guilty for not being with her all the time.  So the boys went to visit and be with her, while me and my kids got some great and special Grandpa time.  Even though my brothers support us as best they can from a distance, physically being here made me feel not so alone when I am with her now, because they too experienced the depth of her stare. The same one that I am with week after week and that keeps getting further away.  Peggy might not remember that they were here, but I sure do.  Thanks guys, I needed that and I love you.

A classic backyard family portrait.

Porcelain Mind

Check out these guys film about caring for loved ones with Alzheimer's on
Kickstarter

They are making a film and need our support.  I truly believe that the grandkids are the key to a cure.  They are able to tell our story, because we are too busy and caught up in the caregiving to be able to.  Every dollar shows we care.  Good luck guys!

Her last potato chip

I brought Peggy a snack, her favorite, potato chips!  We used to always open the bag of Jay's in the car on the way home from the grocery store. Heck we used to even have them delivered.  Sharing things with her always makes me feel better.   There is so very little I can do for her anymore, she doesn't respond to anything at all.  She stares into a weird space and I'm not sure what she can and cannot see.  So, I wanted to give her something that would get her attention, something salty and crispy and loud!  She smiled and she chewed it forever and I think she even liked it.

Then they told me that we now must grind up her food because she is having trouble swallowing.  So I gave her another, because we know that you can never eat just one.  

Me feeding my Mom, I'm wearing her bracelet and my Alzheimer's Association band.

Happy Mother's Day

a picture from her granddaughter

flowers from her son

    

I think they mean more to us than her these days...

Do you know the way to San Jose?

We sure do, because we drove up there for Sunny to get her award from the California PTA for her song "I Remember" that she wrote about her Nana.  Expenses were paid, and we had a great time.  She brought her ukulele just in case they wanted her to sing.  She's a natural performer.  They announced the National winners, and Sunny's song didn't win, and she felt slightly dissapointed.  But, when she got up on stage, she brought the house down without a dry eye.  Making that connection, being able to share her song meant more to her than the award as people from all over gave her a hug, and told her how wonderful her song was and that it had such meaning for them, because they also have people in their lives with Alzheimer's. She's awesome.

Here is a video of her singing it there.