Not Alone...

So that's the truth.  I'm not alone. The walk, the people, the blogs, the posts, the websites, the information, the conversations, all help me cope.  But honestly, as much as it gives me comfort, it makes me more sad... sad that there are so many people's live enwrapped in this disease.

We did it!

Great Day for a memory walk!  Thank you for all your support.  It was overwhelming to see all the people walking for their family members.  I got a little emotional, knowing all these people have been in the same place as me.  Click here for more alzheimer's walk photos

 p.s. we raised over $2450!!!!!!!!

Sharing Stories

I forgot to mention Sharing Stories Day in Sunny's second grade classroom.  The kids were learning about story last month, and parents were invited to come in and share a story of any kind.  So, I came in and Sunny and I read "What's Your Name Again?"

She read the Sunny parts, and I read the Mom parts.  It was a really wonderful experience.  I was so happy and proud of Sunny.  The kids were really interested, and they loved the Sunny character and asked all kinds of questions afterwards.  Sunny stood up and told them all about her Nana and Alzheimer's Disease.  It was pretty cool.  Then they started talking about their grandparents!  This is my audience, I know this, I believe this.  I know this is a story that must be shared.  It's about showing kindness when you are frustrated, it's not just our story, its a universal story that all the little second graders who had never even heard of alzhiemer's disease could relate to.  Now, if I could just get a publisher to see that too.

Depakote

alzheimer's disease and behavioral symptoms

Here is a link from the Alzheimer's Association that talks about what's happening to Peggy.  It gives me relief to find that it is the disease not her.  I know it is, but it gets so god damn personal sometimes.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us for the walk. The response is overwhelming. Your money goes to things like the website where I am able to research her behavioral problems and drugs.  I have gone from really feeling alone and sad to being uplifted by my friends, family, the doctor, the gals at Sunrise and a little depakote.

"BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

That's what she said to me yesterday when I was in the bathroom trying to help her get cleaned up.  It hit me like a smack in the face.  But it didn't hurt.  I was to pre-occupied trying to help her and to not physically get smacked in the face.  Last night, around 2am when I couldn't sleep, that's when it hurt.

from July sketch book

Alzheimer's Walk

We are asking our friends to help us out by donating 5 dollars for our walk to fight alzheimer's. Your hand in helping me fight this disease on all fronts is what we need to stay strong and not give up hope. Alzheimer's disease can be a forgotten memory in our future. Please read my blog, and reach in with your hand and support this incredible organization.

Please visit my donor page to pledge.
Alzhiemer's Walk Donation page

Refusing Care

So, I made it over there...she's not good.  I mean she's bad.  Nushka was trying to help her use the bathroom and clean her.  I jumped in, she was glad to see me.  Nushka, not Peggy.  We tried everything.  She hollered at us, smiled at us, lunged at us, swore at us and well when it comes down to it she plain refused us.  What do you do?  We can't make her take off her pants, and she won't let us help her. She will hit us, and has such a panic in her face and voice that force is not the answer.  I called the Doctor.  More Depacote faxed over immediately.  I'm going to take her to see the doctor tomorrow.

Scary

 We saw her on Saturday for the Halloween carnival, Gidgey and I dressed as puppies, because Sunrise hosted a dog costume parade.  Peggy, we dressed her as a devil.  Red lipstick, red horns, and a red blouse as a cape. We had fun. Then Monday I got another call....more erratic aggressive behavior, she actually broke a helper's glasses.   I hate that I have to mix together everything that is happening in one post.  The fun we had at Sunrise, how she loved the hotdog and our costumes, seeing SUNRISE LIVING on the caller id, the feeling of wanting to rush over there....and not wanting to go at all.