I Believe

Here is an amazing video of Peggy hearing Sunny's new song she wrote for Reflections this year.  It's called I Believe, and it's an inspiring upbeat song that is so sweet that it cuts right through Alzheimer's and smashes it to the core.  You don't have to watch the whole thing, as I know it's kind of scary to see someone in the end stages of this rotten disease, but when you see how Peggy comes alive as she hears her granddaughters voice, you'll understand why I wanted to show it to you.

Her last potato chip

I brought Peggy a snack, her favorite, potato chips!  We used to always open the bag of Jay's in the car on the way home from the grocery store. Heck we used to even have them delivered.  Sharing things with her always makes me feel better.   There is so very little I can do for her anymore, she doesn't respond to anything at all.  She stares into a weird space and I'm not sure what she can and cannot see.  So, I wanted to give her something that would get her attention, something salty and crispy and loud!  She smiled and she chewed it forever and I think she even liked it.

Then they told me that we now must grind up her food because she is having trouble swallowing.  So I gave her another, because we know that you can never eat just one.  

Me feeding my Mom, I'm wearing her bracelet and my Alzheimer's Association band.

Just a minute...

I don't mean "just a minute", or "I'll be there in a minute," which we know is longer than 60 seconds and usually means, "I don't really feel like doing that right now."  

What I mean is that even a minute of my time can be enough.  I'm loving Peggy again with a full heart.  I've been stopping by more frequently, for less amount of time.  The last three times have been good.  I like to hug her, let her know I'm there.  She lights up.  A minute to her could mean an eternity, a day, a month, maybe a second, who knows?  It's just that I happen to be living in real time, filled with children, friends, work, chores and there never seems to be enough hours in the day, let alone minutes.  But, when I stop by on my way from this or that to see how she is, I find the real value of a mere minute,  by her smile.

She's still my Mom, and seems as though I'm still learning about life from her.

There is no nature vs. nurture, just love.

Mother's Love

Sunny, Lois, Gidget, Liam and Allen

  If you have been reading this blog for a while you may remember my post about being adopted and my search for my birth family....well that day came last week.  It's been pretty strange, amazing, exciting, weird, and sad.  My birth mother died at a young age, 37 from an aneurism, not but ten miles from where I live now.  She came from a big Irish family just outside Chicago.  They have all been calling me and I can tell they really loved her and are so excited to meet me.  It's almost like I am picking up where she left off, age wise.  My first connection was with her twin brother Dan.  Peggy had a twin sister that died in her 30's as well.  Dan has a son, who came over to our house last week!  His name is Liam and he is so cool and sweet and fun and well, kinda looks like me!  Okay, so how do I make this post short.  Well I guess it took 24 years to find them, it might take a few words to tell the story.  My mom helped me fill out some paperwork when I turned 18 that would put my name on a list, and if the birth family was on the list too...you've got a match!  There never was a match, and I continued to look, sort of, throughout my young adult life.  I was curious.  I also wanted to let my birth mother know that everything had turned out alright.  That I was happy, I had a neat family that loved me, and well that I wasn't "an accident".  Long story short.  That same society ALMA and Catholic Charities gave me the clues I finally needed to make the call to Dan.  I asked if he was Dan Fountain, and if he had a twin sister named Patricia Fountain, and that I believed she was my birth mother.  He said, "your the baby" and proceeded to tell me the rest of the story....

Me talking to Dan for the very first time.

The first person I wanted to tell was my Mom, Peggy.  So I took her for a drive and I did.  And she smiled and listened and I talked.  My Mom has always been there for me, and she still is.  I love my family so much for giving me love and freedom and making me feel special because I was adopted.

"I'll love you forever."

We had a great visit with Peggy Lu.  It makes it easier to go over to the house with someone, because when we sit and chat together, Peggy gets into the conversation, she mumbles, and stutters, and shouts, and smiles, and drinks her tea and participates, in her own way.  Instead of me just staring at her asking questions, wanting answers.  So, I guess my advice for today is to include your alzhiemer's patient in as much as you can.  Don't expect a lot, but you might get a surprise like a bite, or maybe even a coherent whisper like  "I'll love you forever."  That's what Peggy said, when Peggy Lu said goodbye to her last night.

My V Allen tine

Tonight, we spent Valentine's Day at Sunrise.  This is my husband Allen.  This is why I love him so much.  Tonight, instead of a romantic dinner for two, he went with us to Sunrise to celebrate. This is a photo of him, letting Gidget comb his "hair" in the dress-up part of the Alzheimer's floor.  I'm sitting next to my Mom, in a fluorescent lit room decorated with paper hearts while an Elvis impersonator sings Karaoke songs to her.  When I looked over and saw them, I felt like this was the most romantic valentine's day anyone could ever have.

Click here to see more pics of our romantic dinner